So here I am. Five years into me wanting to start some sort of a writing hobby, and maybe one day career, I’ve finally done it. All that time i spent pondering what, and how, and when, and why and any damn thing i could to keep me too occupied to actually start. If I’m going to be completely honest with myself, I never started because I’m was to self conscious to put myself out there. To scared to fail.
Recently, during a four month hiatus when i just quite my job, spent my entire savings, and bought a new car putting myself farther into debt that when i started, something kind of incredible happened. Instead of drinking myself into oblivion (lets be honest, i did drink quite a bit) I started spending a lot more time just sitting around thinking about what I really want out of this life. Im turning 30 this November and you’d think Id have a better handle on that by now. But during all this sitting on my porch and draining my savings on five dollars Jack n’ Cokes at happy hour, my thoughts began to shift more towards what i can do right now that would make me happy, instead of planning how I’m going to retire in 20 years. Not that i shouldn’t also be doing that too, but I tried the whole “work a job that makes you miserable just because it pays good, and has benefits. its the best you can do for yourself without college” routine. And let me tell you, miserable is an understatement. Maybe now i should say “fuck the financial security”, start doing things that just make me happy, and let the chips fall where they may.
So i did. I got a job that will pay the bills and be as least stressful as possible. Ive corrected my diet dramatically and stayed consistent in the gym. I began reading a lot more often with a larger variety of topics. I focus more on myself spiritually than i have in years. Lastly, I started to really challenge myself to start writing. I started with a planner and a journal challenge. The planner was just to force myself to sit down everyday and plan my tomorrow. Sometimes I would jot down a quote I read in one of the books. Then sometimes i would add in why that particular quote was significant to me. After a couple weeks of that, i started a 30 day journal challenge. Each day it gives me a topic to write about and i just go to town, writing as little or as much as i wanted.
Then two days ago i saw two quotes that really gave me the courage to just man up and take it a little further and start this blog. “The best things in life are on the other side of fear” is one from a clip with Will Smith….and “Where you’re at in life right now is not a reflexion of your potential. It is a reflexion of the size and quality of the goals upon which you are focusing” by Tony Robbins. After reading those two i finally got honest enough with myself to just admit that i was scared, and i was my own worst enemy by not challenging myself near enough.
So my journey into writing begins now. I have no training and a vague sense of direction. My spelling and grammar are probably atrocious, but thats besides the point. Im just here to share my thoughts. My experiences. Favorite quotes and movies i saw over the weekend. New workouts. Diets. Talk about my hobbies. Football. Bad dates. Good dates. Drunken rambling. Whatever comes to mind, with almost no continuity. Just going to put myself out there. Im going to reintroduce myself to this word with a brand new perspective and a little more focus. Cant wait to see where I end up!